And this kids, is how Jack ruined NYE.....

With New Years Eve only one sleep away, my group of gals and I devised a plan to ensure we would have the most gala NYE ever! AKA, we were not invited to any gala parties so we decided to have our own.

Due to the fact that John is the only one in our immediate circle of Civilised Queens who owns a fabulous Hollywood Hills home, we all agreed that we should ring in the New Year at his place. John and his BF Joe were more than happy to have us all at their home, though we were all informed that after the stroke of midnight they would be going downtown for a Circuit Party! We could choose to stay at the home or mosey on down to WEHO after midnight.

With the excitement of having our own gala NYE party we all went shopping to purchase gala French Champagne and gala things to nibble on! Jerry had to take it one step further and prepared flyers that had Johns address, as well as RSVP instructions printed on them. He took it upon himself to wander the streets of WEHO handing out these flyers to unsuspecting hot guys. He did this without letting any of us know. I don't know if it was his ex's recent manhunt debacle that encourage him to perform such a stunt or not, but when he arrived at our Gala NYE event, he had a look of accomplishment on his face that none of use understood. Not until the doorbell rang about an hour after we had all arrived at John's home.

When the doorbell rang, Jerry looked all of us in the eye and said with the dirtiest smirk I have ever seen

Hmm, I wonder who that could be? I'll get it!

As all of us were already at the event, and we were not expecting any new arrivals we were all left looking rather puzzled. Jerry descended down the countless steps to the foyer of the home - alone. We all just kept gossiping about nothing really. Moments later Jerry arrived back to the fourth floor, and to our shock, horror and excitement, he was leading six pretty hot men into our realm! Jack near wet himself with excitement, whilst the rest of us tried to compose our reaction and simply behaved politely and seemingly unfazed by the new arrivals. This response is what any Civilised Queen would do!

Jack literally bowled us all over to be the first to meet these fine gentlemen suitors. It was a fagulous site to witness as he literally lunged into this group of unsuspecting men. He appeared to be well received by them all, which is no surprise as Jack is hot stuff baby this evening.  In a Civilised manner, the rest of us introduced ourselves and the event continued to roll along seamlessly.

Hours had passed, and Jack's focus on gentleman caller #4 had grown from mild infatuation to borderline molestation. Behavior completely acceptable as it was NYE and it was being reciprocated. None of us paid to much attention to it as it's not out of character for Jack to be so bold. The other gentlemen blended in well, though gentleman caller #2 was starting to get borderline Kanye West as his volume increased so did his need to be the centre of all conversations. Thankfully, the countdown to 2010 was only moments away, which I had hoped would interrupt the chance of any minor turns from any of my Civilised group.

With out much warning the countdown began. How ever the only reason we really paid any attention to it was because we heard other people from other homes in the Hollywood Hills counting down, so we all joined in and counted down, then wish each other Happy New Year, then kept drinking. It was not much of a climax really!

As previously discussed, John and Joe left the house to continue their night with thousand of sweaty Queens at the circuit party. We all decided we should make a real assault on WEHO and travelled down to Santa Monica Blvd! The lines to get into the bars were outrageous though one of the guys we were with new the security at Mickey's, so we jumped the long line and went inside!

It was very crowded inside and very hot. We were all in some spastic mood and started dancing like crazy with out any regard for the rest of the crowd. We kept drinking, dancing and yelling and having a great time. About half an hour later I noticed Jack was a little out of character - even for being intoxicated. When I asked him why he was chomping away and grinding his teeth he informed me that he had been given an 'E' from one of the gentlemen callers!

E, something done only with friends or not at all!


Jack's head started bobbing up and down like a liver on a stick and quite frankly the whole 'visual' was becoming increasingly more uncivilised! Not that I am one to judge, but really! The situation started to turn for the worst when jack started groping and verbally harassing everyone he saw, and I men everyone! He was throwing sexual abuse left and right and there was no stopping her! None of us knew what to do or how to control her! It must have been the mix of the alcohol and the pill that had turned Jack into Linda Blaire from the exorcist.

This paranormal activity lasted a good forty minutes until we literally could not stomach it anymore! As Jerry Lives quite close to the bars, he suggested we drag Jack to his place to try and prevent any further embarrassment to Jack's usually only mildly tarnished reputation. After much convincing we managed to get Jack out of the bar and Jerry and I began the walk of shame up the boulevard, shameful because Jack was falling down one moment, then the next moment making sexual innuendo towards a tree! It was truly uncivilised! Eventually we got back to Jerry's and Jack was still out of control. I had an idea, and said to Jerry.

Darling, get me an Ambien!

Jerry looked at me, gave the nod, then went to the bathroom and came back with an Ambien. He then looked at Jack and said.

Here darling, would you like another E?

Jack almost burst with excitement at the prospect of having another E and accepted graciously. Well, he mumble something, but it certainly looked like he was excited about it. Jerry then popped the sleeping aid into Jacks mouth. About 30 seconds later Jack realised it wasn't an E and instead was and Ambien and tried to throw it up! We managed to keep it inside his system long enough for it to do it's magic, and moments later, mid sentence, Jack passed  out into an Ambien induced coma! Much to our relief.

I know what you're probably thinking. Is it politically correct to roofy your friend? Clearly, the answer is yes! As that is what any Civilised Queen would do in this situation!

And that kids, is how Jack ruined NYE!